Lessons In Accountability From My Father

This journey to share my father with the world began on Father’s Day, 2005. After having gone through several rough days, I began reflecting on the calm that my father used to bring to my life. The quiet confidence of his mere presence just made everything all right – no matter what it was.

Losing my father was one of the greatest losses that I have ever experienced. His short battle with cancer was a journey of preparation for living my life without him. We talked so much during his illness – so much more than we had before. And trust me, my father and I talked a lot! There was so much to say, and it felt like it was so little time to say it. But my heart is glad to know that all that needed to be said had actually been said already – throughout my entire life. He didn’t need to tell me he loved me. I knew it. He didn’t need to tell me how proud he was of me. I knew it. He didn’t need to say anything that validated my existence. I knew I belonged.

My father actually needed me to know that every decision he ever made since I was born was what he believed to be the best he knew to do at the time. He said, “You may have thought I was hard.” I stopped him – “Yes, you were, but I was the better for it.” He said, “You may have thought I was overprotective.” I stopped him again – “Yes, you were, but I always knew you were looking out for me.”

What was profound was that at a mere 22 years of age, I had matured enough to know how great of a father that I had. I had known to appreciate all that we had shared. I knew our relationship was special. My father’s final days were turbulent. My mother and I made daily treks to the hospital and spent our entire days with him, grateful to have each and every moment with him. So, in his final moments, he held on… because he knew we’d be there. As we reached his room, our eyes locked. He looked at me so deeply as if to say, ‘you’re okay! I’m going on now.’ His short battle with cancer culminated in his final moments being the most profound exchange of acceptance that a father and daughter could have. He was understood and appreciated. I was at peace that he was proud of the person I had become – the person he molded. He then closed his eyes. Forever.So, this Father’s Day – I wanted to pay tribute to him by sharing with the world all the wisdom that I was fortunate to be given during our years together.

On the 16th anniversary of my father’s passing, Mr. Samuel Giles, for whom my firstborn son and I were named, s